Tag Archives: YouTube

Paula Deen and Oprah Winfrey in slow-motion = absolutely terrifying

paula deen

By the looks of it, this horrifying video has been doing the rounds for a while, but I owe PPH contributor Ed Wall a big “thank you” for pointing me in the direction of a positively Lynchian treatment of a no-doubt inoffensive (apart, perhaps, from the occasional ‘N’ word) meeting between the now-disgraced TV chef and the multimedia empress.

For the full nightmare experience, listen to audio only.

[Source: Pixelbark.com]

Intel Four Stories campaign | The Mirror Between Us

Screen shot 2012-12-11 at 17.14.47

The other day I came across the online-hosted screening event, The Four Stories, which is the culmination of a campaign launched by Intel® in partnership with W Hotels to find some of the world’s most promising aspiring film-makers. Entrants were challenged to upload their original screenplays to intel.com/fourstories for their chance to see their idea brought to life on the big screen. The competition was curated by Roman Coppola and his production company, The Directors’ Bureau, with the winning scripts turned into individual ten-minute shorts, and a final film being created by Coppola himself. The winning screenplays were selected from global entries by a panel of judges including Coppola, Michael Pitt (once of Dawson’s Creekif you remember!), and the perma-trendy Chloe Sevigny (who I think I saw last year hanging about on Cambridge Heath Road, but I could be wrong…)

I had a butcher’s at the winner, and my favourite was The Mirror Between Us, directed by music video helmer Khalil Joseph (Flying Lotus, Seu Jorge) and starring the excellent Nicole Beharie (last seen – by me, anyway) in Steve McQueen’s top shagger comedy searing sex addiction drama ShameIt’s a beautifully shot short about two young who women embark on a dream-like adventure through the Maldives islands after an event turns both their worlds upside down. Here it is, check it out:

Biggie Smalls vs. Thomas the Tank Engine

Bugger me if this has got anything whatsoever to do with film (though given enough time and effort there’s probably some kind of Nick Broomfield pun in there), but it’s pretty much the funniest thing I’ve ever seen/heard, so who cares? Been busy recently, back to regular (film-themed) posting soon, I promise.

Credit to YouTuber wasakwarrior for upload, and Tweeter @lizardhips for the spot.

When 80s paranoia pop funk meets mental 80s horror

Well it made me laugh anyway. Some bright spark (YouTuber MrsFreddyMercury) has cut bits of the late Ken Russell’s barking mad 1986 horror Gothic to the sounds of Rockwell’s cheesy 1984 hit ‘Somebody’s Watching Me’. When Rockwell starts doing his silly “everyman” voice and Gabriel Byrne whips out his quill, it’s pretty much a perfect storm of ridiculousness. It gets even better when Rockwell pipes (is it supposed to be an English accent?): “When I’m in the SHAR (shower) and I’m afraid to wash my HAR (hair)!” and MrsFreddyMercury cuts to a shot of Julian Sands flapping about in the SHAR (shower). Anyway, I’ve written too much on this already. Just watch:

For a more thorough appraisal of the film, head over to this article on great blog Cinemart.

Sexuality: The Music Videos of Sébastien Tellier

By contributor @eltname

Not that I like to give credence to the claim I’m bad at sticking to deadlines, but I am.

When I heard that Permanent Plastic Helmet was planning to delve into the world of the music video, I thought – “Ooh, I should write something for that. I love music videos. They’re my best.”

And many weeks of wasted opportunities later, this is it.

But of course, they weren’t wasted opportunities at all. Because for the past month or two I’ve just been watching Sébastien Tellier videos over and over like a Hot Chip metaphor.

Here are my favourites:

5. ‘Look’ (dir. Mrzyk & Moriceau)

To understand Sébastien Tellier’s music videos you need to understand that “Sébastien Tellier” is the literal French translation for ‘erotica’, He oozes sexuality – a handy trait and one that presumably influenced the naming of his 2008 album. For the video for ‘Look’, French directors Mrzyk & Moriceau don’t mess about. If you’re not interested in three minutes of an animated close up of a girl’s derrière then this probably isn’t the video for you – especially when it starts pumping out diamonds. However, if you can stomach that, then look closer as the drawings evolve as she walks ever onwards, revealing not just what lies under her clothes, but (in a moment of Antonio Banderas inspired madness) what lies underneath her skin. Sexy, elegant, simple – it just works.

*     *     *     *     *

4. ‘Divine’ (dir. Ace Norton)

2008 was, to quote Didley Squat, A Good Year. I made the leap to London, I worked on music videos for Guillemots, Metronomy and South Central. And Sébastien Tellier represented France at the Eurovision song contest. Also taken from Sexuality, ‘Divine’ is very much a song about all things carnal. The Daft Punk-produced single (and album for that matter) is aurally charming but the package is a beacon for just how important music videos really are. It is the comically hirsute performances from a succession of cut-shot ersatz SebTels that makes this song whole. Hearing it on the radio just doesn’t have the same impact. For chaste Eurovision spectators who had probably never heard of the Frenchman before, Norton makes Tellier a caricature of himself and provides us with the overly beardy I’m Still Here image we all remember. This is probably Sébastien Tellier’s most important video.

*     *     *     *     *

3. ‘L’amour le violence’ (dir. Roman Coppola)

Interestingly this video received quite a lot of stick in industry circles. In it, Roman Coppola shoots SebTel in a Parisian apartment. That’s pretty much it. There’s soft lighting and softer focus, some J.J. Abrams lens flares, some unwieldy reverse zooms, and the odd quivering hand-held close-up of Tellier singing. Coppola was accused of effectively copping out and cashing in on his famous family name. But such an unassuming yet powerful song deserves this kind of minimal, head-on treatment. It’s not quite as literal as Coppola’s effort for Phoenix (‘Funky Squaredance‘ – the first music video ever chosen to be a permanent exhibition at New York’s Museum of Modern Arts) but Tellier’s repetition of the lines “Tell me what you think” begs a certain intimacy that would be lost in any other video.

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2. ‘Kilometer’ (dir. Jonas and Francois)

I’m not really into pornography. But if I was, I suspect I’d be into really niche stuff. Like watching stunning French girls in tiny excuses for underwear jiggling around SebTel’s house as they try to eat animatronic hot dogs. Think it doesn’t exist? You don’t know enough Tellier. If this was any other artist, we might conclude that the setting for ‘Kilometer’ was a party where our star had cut loose for the weekend. But because it’s Sébastien Tellier, it seems a given that this is less ‘one-off’ and more ‘pretty average Tuesday morning’. Jonas & François replicate the gratuitous ‘ass-shot’ we saw in ‘Look’ here, but in live action. They also appreciate, and indulge in, the sense of the absurd that Tellier commands so well on screen. The shot of him holding court over his harem who applaud as he balances a spoon on his nose sums the video up perfectly.

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1. ‘Cochon ville’ (dir. Alex Courtes)

Where to begin? His first new material since 2008, My God Is Blue is a slow burner as albums go. But again, underlying the important role that music videos play, the promo for its first single is vital in catching the attention of its audience. And, like the cultish devotees that appear in this very not-safe-for-work video, once you’re hooked, there’s no escape. Alex Courtès delivers debauchery on a scale previously unimaginable in most mediums, much less the music video. It makes Project X look like something on Newsround. David Knight for PromoNews beautifully describes his turn here as “the guitar-wielding Rasputin of Sex”. It’s a fitting allusion for his performance as a crazy-eyed cult leader, surrounded by writhing naked, fisting, fingering, glitter-cocked, foot-jobbed, firework-stuffed PYTs. The face at 2’17” was pretty much mine for all three minutes of what I would claim is the greatest video of our generation. Honestly – who keeps a blue & gold macaw there? Sébastien Tellier, that’s who.

Obsessed by Griffin Dunne’s talking penis

I’m a fan of Griffin Dunne. The New York actor-turned-director hardly boasts a voluminous body of work, but he was excellent as decomposing sidekick Jack Goodman in American Werewolf in London (1981) and perfectly cast as neurotic New Yorker Paul Hackett in Martin Scorsese’s After Hours (1985).

So you can imagine how my curiosity was piqued when I discovered the existence of a film starring Dunne named Me & Him (1988, directed by the improbably named Dorris Dorrie), which promised to capture the white collar sexual anomie at the fag end of the 1980s; a more ribald, less disgusting American Psycho, perhaps; a sharper Vampire’s Kiss (magnificently re-evaluated here in an AV Club article). A pithy IMDb summary on Me & Him runs thus: “A man’s enthusiastic penis starts talking to him, getting him into awkward situations and convincing everyone he tells that he’s completely insane.”

Sounds good great, right? (Right?) The problem? No-one’s heard of it, and no-one’s seen it. In terms of critical response, there’s nothing out there, save from an average rating of 4.1 from a paltry 291 IMDb users (aka the general public, and we all know you can’t trust them). There’s not a single critic’s review on the usually overflowing Rotten Tomatoes. I got my hopes up when I saw 21 related news items on the iMDB homepage, but the most relevant article carried the headline “Kings of Leon to guest on ‘Iron Chef'”. Me neither…

Worse still, it doesn’t seem to be available anywhere – not even a knackered VHS copy. It’s been so deeply ghettoized that even the utterly bizarre trailer – which intercuts scenes from the film with faux (at least I think they’re faux) vox pops of women praising the film’s insight into masculinity (“It shows how sensitive men really are!”) hasn’t made it onto YouTube. Instead I had to dig it up from an obscure site called Video Detective.

So here’s my question(s). Has anyone seen this film? If so, what’s is like? And – this is fanciful in the extreme – does anyone have a copy I could borrow? There’s just enough proof out there to confirm that this film actually exists, so can you help me on my quest to track down Griffin Dunne’s speaking cock?

Thanks for listening.

* * * UPDATE * * *

My normally prodigious attention to detail failed to kick in on this occasion, and I forgot to check amazon.com, which is slightly more fruitful on a Me & Him tip than amazon.co.uk. Still, my key questions above remain.

Watch: nearly an hour’s worth of deleted scenes from Blue Velvet

“It’s like the song ‘Amazing Grace’. The footage was lost, but now it’s found” – David Lynch.

This has been doing the rounds on the internet, but I figured that a re-post wouldn’t do any harm. YouTuber heavymetalirishman (I suspect he would do what it says on the tin, to paraphrase Jim from last year’s Apprentice) has uploaded nearly a full hour of amazing – and very much NSFW – deleted scenes from David Lynch’s creepy 1986 masterpiece.

Here’s a sliver of the precis, from website Dangerous Minds:

Blue Velvet’s original shooting script is reputed to have been over four hours long. The theatrical release came in at 120 minutes. An additional hour of deleted footage was thought to have been lost when the producer of the film, Dino De Laurentis, sold his company. Fortunately, the footage was located and was released as an extra on the Blu-ray edition…  These deleted scenes have been uploaded to YouTube… Rumour has it that there is even more footage out there.”


Londoners should also be aware that Blue Velvet is screening at the amazing Prince Charles Cinema on Monday 16 July.