It would be folly, and not a little dishonest, to suggest that this post has anything to do with Permanent Plastic Helmet’s film-specific remit. As a culturally sensitive individual, however, I think it’s only right that I bring to your attention the earth-shaking news that, as hinted at in the title, ART ATTACK HOST AND ALL-ROUND MAN-OF-THE-NINETIES NEIL BUCHANAN (also, incidentally, not dead) IS IN A HEAVY METAL BAND CALLED MARSEILLE!

“Ner-ner. Nerrrrrrr-ner-ner.”

More information, should you seek it, can be found on the band’s rather garish official website. Some choice cuts include:

“Marseille were originally called AC/DC!
In their formative years playing the club circuit in Liverpool Marseille used the name AC/DC until Angus and crew exploded on the UK rock scene in 1976. In awe of the aussies from down under, the band promptly renamed themselves Marseille in mid-1976. We still remain in awe of the aussie rockers to this day!!”

“The band had a brief chart success in the early 80’s when their melodic rock single Over and Over charted at No.31. Marseille frequently topped the heavy metal charts with various tracks from their albums. Their anthemic single Do It The French Way was also used as a soundtrack to a French soft porn movie!”

In the canon of secret careers, this is a revelation right up there with Adam Woodyatt (Ian Beale)’s other life as a respected digital photographer (I shit you not).

Enjoy: