Pirate videos? Daylight robbery!
From the poor sap’s bleach-blonde hair to the antequated cultural references, here is a wonderful time capsule of the late-video age. In the mid-90s, this anti-piracy polemic would appear in almost every single ad break, and before the start of any film you watched.
But, counterproductively, the villainous market trader gets all the best lines and makes sure that you’d rather be a cocky pirate than the unfortunate twat he’s just stiffed with his dodgy videos.
Altogether now: “Oral contract? Not worth the paper it’s printed on! Here, love… Four Weddings!”