Phil Collins v. Ultimate Warrior

Our occasional series documenting the involvement of the author of key 20th Century texts such as ‘Sussudio’ and ‘You’ll Be In My Heart’ in EVERYTHING continues with this genuine curio, featuring one of the world’s most irritating comedians (Problem Child‘s Gibert Gottfried) and Ugly Betty’s Vanessa Williams.

The following clip comes from Collins’ 1990 TV Special ‘At Last…’ – as in, “At last, we get what we’ve always wanted! The drummer from Genesis engaging in the throes of pretend fighting with a clown-like muscle man!”, and appears to show a group of exec types imagining the ideal pitch for a film starring Collins. They settle on the idea of Phil Collins v. Ultimate Warrior, and what follows is truly the product of a fevered mind…

In the ring, Ultimate Warrior is clearly initially attracted to Collins, shooting him lusty glances across the ring and swinging his hips in time with the latex-clad singer’s to the jaunty sound of ‘Two Hearts’. Without warning, and presumably disgusted by his all-consuming attraction to Collins, Warrior proceeds to wring his neck. Not even the application of the Boston Crab can stop the singer, nor a face-first slam into the top turnbuckle. He came here to sing, and that’s what he’s going to do.

Possibly triggered by his unquenched thirst for Collins and inability to come to terms with his sexuality, a tortured Warrior embarked upon a well-documented breakdown, and a number of virulently homophobic public speeches.

Queering doesn’t make the world work!

Here it is, for your enjoyment: