My love for you is ticking clock BERSERKER! Would you like to suck my co…

Sinewy of frame and mannered of performance, Lance Reddick will be familiar to viewers as the stern, moral and entirely body-fat free Lieutenant Cedric Daniels from HBO Series The Wire.

However, only Wire fanatics – (believe me, these exist: The Guardian website has just published a blog about its own Wire spin-off book which itself consisted of nothing but blog posts from the Guardian website – surely a case of post-modernism wolfing itself down if ever there was one) and perhaps devoted fans of dreadful music will be familiar with Reddick’s excursions into the world of silky aural pleasure.

mmmm...tick tock!

Tragically (for lazy arseholes like me and you) Reddick has opted to make his musical content unembeddable, so if you want to embark on a jazz odyssey like no-other, click the link here, and take the > road into musician.

I particularly recommend track 8, ‘Tick Tock’, which sounds like a re-animated Luther Vandross being forced at gunpoint to improvise the lyrics to a 1993 erotic-thriller theme tune at breakneck speed. “Piff puff” indeed.

Continuing this week’s conspicuously tenuous clock theme, Flavor Flav is back with an effort that, frankly, defies belief.

According to its YouTube blurb, ‘I’ll Never Let You Go’ is

The infamous joint from the infamous Flavor Flav! Flav takes autotune to another level with this heartfelt love song and shows a side of himself that you’ve never seen before! This dude can do it all!

In fact, ‘I’ll Never Let You Go’ is a contender for the title of saddest song ever committed to record.  It is the sound of a broken man past his prime (for the uninitiated – Flav was the Bez to Chuck D’s Shaun Ryder in politico-rap titans Public Enemy) resorting to a cliche-ridden auto-tune lament, mired in the type of saccharine minor-key syrup that would have been laughed out of the recording studio by Boyz II Men.  The hopeless production values of the video don’t help matters either.

What time is it?

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